Eight Reasons I Fear for Our Future

I know, I know, it’s been weeks. Although I’m a little sad it has been my longest dry-spell, I am happy to say it’s because I’ve been busy traveling about and spending time with good people. Whilst traveling I’ve been able to engage in several interesting conversations and had a lot of time to think, I’ve decided that I have a great amount of fear for the future of humans…more specifically, Americans.

Reader discretion advised. These opinions are my own, if you don’t like them, don’t read them. Therefore, without further ado, I present…

Eight Reasons I Fear for Our Future

real classy, ladies

8. The Music Industry
It’s no surprise that the quality of music has been failing quite rapidly in the past decade or so . Please don’t misunderstand me- I’m not saying that every band/artist  in the past 10 years have sucked, but after hearing Katy Perry’s tell-all hits “I Kissed a Girl” (oohh, such a rebel) and “Peacock” who’s lyrics include ‘I wanna see your pea-cock-cock-cock, your pea-cock-cock’ (seriously?). After hearing Selena Gomez’s “I Love You like a Love Song” (I couldn’t even think of a mocking simile to compare it to… that’s how little sense it makes). After hearing anything that Kesha, oh- excuse me “Ke$ha” has done, it’s become blatantly obvious that you don’t even have to be a good singer or a musician at all to be a successful artist anymore. Yes, artist. You can vomit into a microphone as much as you want Ke$ha and have auto-tune correct it to make it sound like it may be music, but it’s not-you’re not a musician and I pray to the gods of music that you have no inspiration over aspiring musicians. I have so much more to say on this topic, but we must continue on with my list.

7. Cars that Drive Themselves
Did you hear that they are now testing proto-types of cars that switch lanes on their own? We already have cars that parallel park themselves and have video-cameras in the back, but now we can’t even switch lanes without the help of a computer? These advances in automotive technology are obviously due to the fact that people don’t know how to drive. I get it, it’s so hard to check your blind spot before switching lanes, it’s sooo hard to check behind your vehicle to make sure there isn’t a child at the end of the driveway (you’re picking up on my sarcasm right?). Does this mean in ten years no one will have to learn how to drive? What will we do when the car’s computer fails and you’ll have to drive it yourself? It’s pretty sad that there are enough idiots with drivers licenses that we’ll need to depend on cars driving themselves to insure our own safety.

6. Hollywood Marriages
I’m not sure I need to really get into this one. The sanctity of marriage has diminished in general, but Hollywood has just turned it into a sick publicity stunt that frankly embarrasses me. Have you people no dignity? No morals? No soul? Is it that hard to stick with what you’ve promised to stick with? Marriage isn’t something that just works by itself, you need to work at it, make sacrifices. If it’s so hard for you to commit to something then don’t do it you friggin morons.

5. This Picture
Anyone who’s seen the movie Wall-E doesn’t need an explanation for this one, but I’ll clue the rest of you in. Wall-E is a robot who roams the


Earth, which has become a devastated waste-land, for signs of life. Where are the humans? Why flying around in personal hover-chairs, completely absorbed in their holographic computers on a space station of course. So when I saw this picture of a new tablet holder, compared to this screenshot from Wall-E, I died a little inside. Please, please, please don’t let this be how we turn out!

And if you haven’t seen Wall-E, check it out. Disney/Pixar movies rarely disappoint.

4. Technology Overloading
We’ve all been there, we’re all guilty of it. Gathering with friends and family to spend some “quality time” together, everyone with a laptop/cellphone/ipod in front of them. Texting someone in the next room, Facebook messaging your significant other (who is sitting next to you on the couch) to tell you that you love them. Hell, as I type this I’m sitting in my living room watching a movie with my parents. I’m not judging- and I’m not the first person to call attention to it either. I’m just saying it scares me that face to face communication is dwindling. People don’t even know how to speak to each other in person anymore. If you’re saying “LOL” to someone instead of actually laughing, you may be in too deep.

wonder what they'll look like in 30 years...if they survive that long

3. Reality Television
Another one that doesn’t need too much of an explanation. Not all reality television is bad, I enjoy a good Chopped or Iron Chef marathon every now and then, in fact I’ll watch most reality shows on The Food Network or HGTV. The reality television that frightens me the most are the trashy shows like (you guessed it) Jersey Shore, and The Real Housewives of Every Major City in the United States. I have two questions for you “reality stars”: First, are you seriously that desperate for attention that you need to exploit yourselves and your families for money? Second, you know that half the people that watch your shows, watch them to make fun of you, right? You make me sick. I want to send a sweaty sumo wrestler to butt-eff you in the face followed by roundhouse kicking your head in.

2. Childhood Obesity
Unlike most items on my list this is a real and quite serious problem developing not only in the United States, but also in Canada. Here are some frightening facts taken directly from The Childhood Obesity Foundation Website: “Obesity rates in children have almost tripled in the last 25 years. Approximately 26% of Canadian children ages 2-17 years old are currently overweight or obese.This will only get worse as the children grow into adults. If healthy eating habits are not developed and encouraged starting at childhood, the life expectancy of the newest generation will be several years less than ours. It’s not the fault of the children, of course. Parent’s can’t blame anyone but themselves. Unfortunately a large percentage of parents (not all- I know many competent, great parents) are ignorant to a child’s needs, which brings me to my final, and biggest fear…

1. The Lack of Condom Use
It comes as no shock I’m sure, that people everywhere are having sex. The amount of people who have unprotected sex however, blows my mind and grosses me out. I’m not sure who to blame- parents, health teachers, the individuals themselves… I just don’t know, but it’s becoming a problem for several reasons and it needs to stop before the world becomes overpopulated with STD infected individuals. To those of you whose excuse for not using condoms is “It doesn’t feel as good.” I respond with this: “Will it feel better to have herpes/crabs/syphilis? Will it feel better to push an eight-pound, 20 inch baby out of your vagina? Also- are you stupid?” To those of you whose excuse is “I’m/she’s on birth control already” I respond with “And that protects you from gonorrhea and HPV, how? Also- are you stupid?”

Please note- I am talking specifically of “random hook-ups” or “one night stands”, if you will. I’m not going to preach to those of you in long-term relationships, I assume you and your partner are responsible enough to discuss your feelings on these issues and get tested.

Guys: If you are hooking up with a hot chick who you met that day/night: USE A CONDOM. If she’s hot, it means she’s probably desired by a lot of men, and if she’s giving it up to you the first day you’ve met- it means she’s probably done that with a lot of other men, which means she probably has something and doesn’t even know about it. And if you think that getting her pregnant won’t be that big of a deal because you never have to see her again- think again. She’s probably crazy and will track you down.

Girls: If you don’t care if people think you’re an “easy-lay”  and “cool because she doesn’t want me to use a condom” good for you for not caring what other people think, but have some friggin self-respect! Do you care at all about yourself? About your body? Your future? Have you seen the show Teen Mom or the movie Knocked Up? Also- are you stupid? If you want to use a condom and the scum-bag who you just met and is about to bang you doesn’t want to use a condom- then don’t let him bang you, because he’s a douche-bag who obviously doesn’t care about you or your body and therefore doesn’t deserve you, or your body.

So many people are “living in the now”, “going with the flow” and saying “That’s for future-me to worry about”. La-dee-frickin’-da! Good for you- but the Carpe Diem attitude doesn’t really apply in all situations. It’s smart to think about your future every now and then- especially when it concerns your health and future children. Too many ignorant teens are getting pregnant  because they think dressing up a baby will be fun, and then they end up like the idiots on Teen Mom or 16 and Pregnant. More than half of them end up single parents with no social-lives because they aren’t mature and responsible enough to have children yet. I want to slap everyone of them across the face. If this is any insight to what our future generations are going to be like, then we’re in a boat-load of trouble.

So there you have it people. Take some time away from technology this year, mail a letter, take a walk, boycott television shows that decrease your I.Q. and use a condom darnit! Maybe if we all smarten up and really appreciate the people and things we have around us, we won’t end up like the technology-obsessed-blob-people from Wall-E.

Questions? Comments? Concerns?

Happy New Year!


One thought on “Eight Reasons I Fear for Our Future

  1. #3 should be a scissor kick instead of a sweaty sumo roundhouse if you are going to keep in the DTV tradition. Apart from that small correction I agree completely.

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