Diaper List

Bear with me on this one…

While watching a re-run of How I Met Your Mother the other night I was inspired to straight up steal an idea from Lily and Marshall (characters were at that point trying to conceive). They decide to make what they call a “Cradle List”, much like a Bucket List but for things you want to do before you have kids, rather than before you die. I’ve seen this episode before (it’s a few years old) and this part didn’t really impact me as much as it did watching it now. Because kids are still in the distant future for us, it seemed like a perfect idea to construct a list of all the things we’d like to do before we reach that point. I changed it to Diaper List though, because who uses cradles anymore?

I know I’ve said before that I am just at the ripe old age where everyone is getting married and popping out babies. If you’re ready, then you’re ready and you know it, and that’s great! I’m obviously not there yet and the concept of a baby growing inside of me is frankly scary. We have enough crap on our plates as it is that it would be irresponsible of me to want to take on growing and caring for another human being and just because I’m married now is no reason to jump on the bandwagon.

Remember a few years ago when all those high school girls in Massachusetts made a pact to have babies that year? Ugh, that’s so disgusting to me. Yes, I know that in the past girls would get married around 16-18 and start to have children at that time, but it’s not 1890 anymore kids. Just because your body is physically able to have a baby doesn’t mean that you are ready to have a baby, I think that’s made painfully obvious in stupid shows like “16 and Pregnant” and “Teen Moms” (great idea MTV! Let’s glorify teen pregnancy! You know there are idiot teens out there who are now getting pregnant so they can be on your show and become “famous” right? Gross.). Please don’t get me wrong, I fully understand that accidents happen, but this is *one of the many* problems with America today because half of these morons don’t use birth control. And no, I’m not taking that back. If you’re having sex, you’re not using protection and you honestly think you won’t get pregnant: You’re an effing moron. And why are we still accepting the excuse that kids are getting pregnant because they’re not “educated” about it? Am I the only one who’s calling bull on that? With all the tv shows and crap on the internet that kids have access to, you’re seriously going to claim you didn’t know having sex would get your pregnant? Are the children of the United States really that stupid? Are the parents in the United States so disconnected with their families that you don’t want to have that conversation with your child because “it’s awkward”?  You think your kid is old enough to have an iPhone but you can’t have a serious conversation about how life works? The rest of the country is getting stupider because you don’t want to tell your kids what sex is and the consequences of doing it unprotected? Did you know that the teen pregnancy rates in the United States are twice as high as Canada’s, four times as high as it is in France and Germany and eight times higher than Japan? Did you know that 80% of teen mothers end up on welfare and only one-third of them complete high school? Shocker! No wonder the population of the States is getting stupider. Did you know that daughters of teen moms are 22% more likely to become teen moms themselves and sons of teen moms have a 13% greater chance of ending up in prison? Yeah! U! S! A!

Well, that escalated quickly. Can you tell I’m passionate about the straight-up stupidity of teen pregnancy? Do I think that sitting on my butt and ranting about it is going to change anything? No, I’m quite aware that there are zero teens that will even read this. I didn’t intend to go off on a rant like that but none the less I think I needed to get it off my chest, and it really burns my toast when I see good, deserving people who want kids but are having physical difficulties with it while there are ignorant little punks popping kids out left and right who they will then (barely) raise to become even more ignorant littlier punks. That being said, not all teen mom’s are failures. Some really step up, take responsibility and care for that child better than some 30 year olds do, to you teen moms I say kudos.

Anyway, I thank you for making it through to this section of my post. What is the point of this post even? Oh yeah, planning on having babies and preparing myself to get to that point- what an incredible concept!

Without further ado, let’s get to the list. And yeah- I put some on there that we’ve completed because I’m proud and wanted to cross some off.

The Diaper List

1. Pay off credit card debt.
2. Pay off Ty’s student loans.
3. Pay off my student loans.
4. Buy a house.
5. Visit Europe again.
6. Western United States roadtrip.
7. See the Grand Canyon.
8. Go ziplining.
9. Visit Vegas.
10. Buy and pay off new car.
11. Increase savings account.
12. Get a dog.
13. Get in shape (ugh).
14. Purchase a SLR camera.
15. Enjoy every last moment we have with just the two of us.

That’s not too long of a list… but there’s a lot of money that would need to be spent in order to accomplish everything, that concerns me. We don’t need to do all of these things of course, we just figured it would be best to get these things out of the way before having kids. Some things can be accomplished at the same time (roadtrip/Grand Canyon/Vegas), so that’s definitely a plus. It’ll be interesting to see how many things we can actually do, obviously no one can plan every detail of their lives, things change, unexpected things happen, but it’s nice to set some goals. We’re fully aware that having kids is going to tie us down in some way, so why not enjoy each other and our time alone as much as possible before we take that plunge? Why not do the things we’d like to do while we’re still young and able to do so? I don’t know if I’ll want to go ziplining when I’m 50.

Please don’t get me wrong either- I’m not trying to come off as saying kids are a burden or anything. I know that will be an entirely new, crazy and exciting adventure. At the same time I think I’m being realistic about it, I know our lives will completely change when the time comes and we won’t have the ability to be selfish anymore.

Where are you in life? Is there anything you wish you had done before you had kids (if you have them)? Anything you feel the need to do before you have kids? Or do you have the ambition that I lack to do all of the things you want to do with your kids? Do you think teen pregnancy is as ridiculous as I do, or am I just an old coot with a bad attitude?

To each their own, right?


2 thoughts on “Diaper List

  1. The way I view having children is that they will ‘burn all the pages and re-write the book.’ This is neither good or bad, but it will feel like a new life entirely with completely new rules and a completely new perspective. The less you feel like you’ve ‘missed out’ on before children the less of a burden you put on them in the long run and the better environment you give them to grow up in. I love the idea of defining a list of the top things you’d like to do. Even if you only can get 20% of it done before kids (BK?) there is no saying that you won’t be able to fit some of those things in after children with the help of friends, family and savings accounts.

    Unfortunately many teenagers haven’t learned much about all that life has to offer and having a child is so glamorized in this society it seems like a solution to all that is missing in a young life. Too many people have children (or get married or work at a job they hate (not that I’m comparing the two) lol) because it’s ‘what they are supposed to do’ instead of sitting back and looking at why they do or don’t want what the world is telling them to want. Teenagers lack that perspective and many adults do too. Children need parents who can give them the space to learn and grow and discover while at the same time knowing when to be protective and a disciplinary. It is a delicate balance that we all struggle with in our own lives and in all our relationships, including the relationship we have with ourselves. The wisdom to know when to let go and when to take action. The more ‘practice’ a person can get trusting themselves in non-parental situations the better prepared (theoretically) they will be in actual parenting situations.

    That being said….. from what I hear, nothing can prepare you!

    PS- Ranting is fun.

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