You Know What I Meme?

Oh Internet.

Some days I am just utterly frustrated with you. I need days like that though, it gives me a chance to step back, let myself take a break, work on some art, read a book, stimulate my mind in ways that the internet cannot do so.  Today is almost one of those days, obviously I’m not removing myself from the computer or internet if I’m writing a blog post. Friday was the opposite of that kind of day. I discovered a new way to express my annoyances, through the “art” of internet memes, and I had a lot of fun doing it.

What is an internet meme you ask? Even if you don’t know it by name, I can almost guarantee that you’ve seen them before. A meme is something that is an idea or behavior that is wildly spread throughout a culture, for example Tebowing and planking are considered memes. An internet meme is something that is spread throughout the- you guessed it- internet. I’ve used some before on the blog, remember the sad hipster?

Ahh, it still makes me laugh. Most of the time it’s the combination of the picture and what’s written that makes it funny. I’ve also concluded that people would rather look at a picture and read a short sentence or two than come to a blog and read several paragraphs and pages about someone complaining about or making fun of people. With that being said, let us begin.

Remember when Facebook was created and allowed you to connect with friends, old and new, create groups to honor a specific person, place or thing, schedule events where everyone could easily see all of the details in one place? It’s become so much more than that lately, hasn’t it? That’s all thanks to the status updates.

I know what you’re thinking, she’s on about this again? If it annoys you so much just delete your Facebook account or stop going on, right? Right, well there are other things I really love Facebook for, connecting with friends and family that are in a different country is the number one thing. Why not just call and stay connected that way? Because people don’t always answer their phones, because long distance phone bills are ridiculously expensive, because sometimes you don’t have thirty minutes or an hour to talk to someone and you just want to vent to your girlfriends in your private group for five minutes, and tell them all at once so you don’t have to repeat yourself ten times. Because Facebook wall messages and texting are like the telegrams of our time, a brief note saying hello or saying what’s up without getting into every major detail that you may not have the time to share.

I used to think that status updates were like the instant messenger away messages from ten years ago but now I realize I was wrong. Away messages were something that someone chose to read if they wanted to know why you weren’t at your computer- or a message that was instantly sent back to them if they tried to send you a message. It wasn’t mandatory to read them, they weren’t shoved it your face in the morning when you decided to go online. Facebook statuses, and Tweets for that matter too, are attention grabbers. They are today’s way of saying what you want to be heard and get recognition for it. That’s all they are. “I want attention”, “I want people to know that I think that call was wrong, and that ref is stupid”, “I want people to know what I thought of that movie”, “-to think I’m funny”, “-to know that I can cook”, “-that my boyfriend and I have been together for three years”, “-that it’s my dead great grandmother’s birthday”, “-that I’m watching this T.V. show”, “-that I have an opinion too”.

I know I’ve said it all before- maybe I think it bares repeating, maybe I just want more attention and more people to agree with me, maybe it’s time we all realize that we don’t need constant validation on all of our actions and opinions, because it’s getting out of hand because now it’s unbearable. If you’re watching something on TV and you’re updating your status every five minutes about what’s going on it may be too late for you. If you have that much to say about something, then maybe you should start a blog or write some articles and send them into your local paper. But you won’t- why? Because you won’t get the instant reaction like you will on Facebook. Why do you think I started this blog? Because I want people to know that I’m creative, smart and funny. I require some sort of feedback obviously if I felt the need to share my projects and rant my random ramblings to the public (or to my mom, mother-in-law and uncle- probably the only people who really read my posts and care), otherwise I’d be more up to date in my private diary. I thrive off of likes and comments just like everyone else, I don’t need it on an hourly basis, but my self-esteem certainly benefits from it. Which brings us back to where I intended to go with this, memes.

I made my own memes. 1. Because I had some extra time on my hands where I didn’t feel like doing anything that was actually productive, and 2. Because people were more likely to look at those and understand my opinion rather than coming here and reading this. Now I’m sharing them on my blog because 1. I want people to think I’m clever, and 2. What’s the point of making them if I’m not going to share them?

The sad thing is that all of these memes were generated because of people’s Facebook statuses that annoy the crap out of me. The combination of my social awkwardness and laziness is what prevents me from commenting on every single status that I find obnoxious, so why not just hit two birds with one stone and make you all realize how silly you look at one time.

Politics

I can’t be the only person who is dying for this election to be over, can I?

This is seriously the only thing that people picked up from this debate. How do I know? Because you wouldn’t shut up about it on Facebook. Clearly- this was the most important thing that Americans understood. For the second debate at least people were listening to some of the issues (I guess) because there was certainly a lot of banter going back and forth about who was right and who was a jerkface moron. Which sparked this:

This was an honest feeling that I had, my initial gut reaction was pure annoyance but then I realized… wow, 50% of the people I know have such a strong opinion about this election that they need to rant about it… maybe that’s a good thing. It’s only a good thing though, if you loud-mouths get out there and vote. A friend commented on this meme saying, “Well we have yet to see if they actually give a damn, or if people are just looking for new reasons to bitch.”. This couldn’t have been more true, I then stole his point and made a joke out of it.


If Romney wins then I’ll know all of you complainers were simply complaining for the sake of being a whiner.

If you care so much about it you’d better freaking go and vote because sitting on your butt and complaining about how one person is an idiot and they’re going to destroy this country isn’t going to make the other person president. You going to the voting booths and doing your part will.

Television

Most of us have favorite television shows. Most shows these days (mainly dramas or thrillers) end an episode with a cliff hanger, it’s how they keep their audiences coming back and ensure their ratings will be just as high next week. News flash: Not everyone can sit down and watch the episode when it airs. Some people have previous engagements, things called lives, or maybe can’t afford to buy HBO or Showtime. Let me introduce you to the meme titled “Scumbag Steve”:

If you’re posting every detail about what’s happening in the show- you’re a selfish jerk. Unlike Twitter, I can’t choose whose Facebook statuses show up on my feed and if you’re posting about who died in that episode three seconds after it happened- you are just as bad as Scumbag Steve and should be banned from the Book.

I honestly don’t know what’s worse- people who post spoilers for shows while they’re watching them, or people who update their status every five minutes about the sport they’re watching.  I don’t care that the Yankees scored a touchdown, or that that play that just happened was unreal- aren’t there sports forums for that? Go talk about it with people who also care, because if I cared I’d be busy watching the game, not scrolling down my Facebook news feed.

And if you got seriously upset when I purposely mixed two sports up to show how much I don’t care, you’re going to need to step back and take a breather.

Relationships

I’m seriously so tired of this. It boggles my brain as to why people feel the need to wish their significant other Happy Anniversary on the Book. Is it because you need everyone else to know that you’re still in love? Do you expect some type of award for putting up with someone else for however many years? Are you really in a relationship that’s dead but you want people to think you’re still happy so you write some sappy crap in your status to cover it up and so other people will wish you well that day? This is coming off as bitter, I know, but I’m in a great relationship- have been for a long time, I don’t need other people to know it because I know it, and he knows it, and if we want to appreciate each other we can do it in private without the public patting us on the backs for it. I can guarantee you right now that 85% of the people who came to our wedding won’t wish us a Happy Anniversary- mainly because I’m not going to post it’s our anniversary in my status- and I don’t care, I’m not going to get upset because my friends don’t remember. I’ll be happy if I freaking remember, not that I don’t care but life gets busy. If you remember and you want to wish us well, thank you- it doesn’t go unnoticed, but I have absolutely no need to flaunt it or call attention to it to get well wishes from people who forgot anyway. I’m so happy for you that you’re in love and have been together for so long- but why don’t you just express your feelings in a card that you hand deliver to your significant other, or even better show them through an act of kindness. I bet they’ll appreciate that a lot more than 30 people liking your status that says you’re so lucky they’re a great partner.

Made-up Holidays

Oh, Condescending Wonka, you’re just so condescendingly honest aren’t you?

I actually don’t have too much more to say on this topic, I think I got my point across pretty well through this meme.

Except this: Did you know National Diabetes Awareness month takes place every November in the States? Isn’t it funny that we decided to bring awareness to Diabetes starting the day after Halloween? So every child in the country has loads of candy and pure crap to eat while also learning to become aware of Diabetes.

Take a look at what other things we celebrate during National Diabetes Awareness Month (source):

November

National Fun with Fondue Month
National Georgia Pecan Month
National Peanut Butter Lover’s Month
National Pepper Month
National Raisin Bread Month

November 1-7 – National Fig Week
November 2 National Deviled Egg Day
November 4 National Candy Day
November 5 National Doughnut Day
November 6 National Nachos Day
November 7 National Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day
November 8 National Split Pea Soup Week (November 8-13)
November 10 National Vanilla Cupcake Day
November 12 National Pizza with the Works Except Anchovies Day
November 13 National Indian Pudding Day
November 14 National Guacamole Day
November 15 National Spicy Hermit Cookie Day
November 20 National Peanut Butter Fudge Day
November 23 National Cashew Day
November 25 National Parfait Day
November 26 National Cake Day
November 27 National Bavarian Cream Pie Day
November 28 National French Toast Day
November 29 National Chocolates Day
November 30 National Mousse Day

Just in case you weren’t counting: 16 out of 20 of those days/weeks celebrate things are unhealthy… during National Diabetes Awareness Month.

Thank you America, for completely contradicting yourself and therefore proving my point.

You poor readers. You must be just as fed up with me complaining about these things, as I am with these people posting these things. It’s freaking annoying right? And now I’m just as bad as them because like they won’t shut up about their relationships or politics, I won’t shut up and continue to complain about them. Yes, it seems as though this is an endless cycle. I know I’ve said before that I’d try to tone it down but it seems as though I just can’t stop. I want the satisfaction of knowing that some of you agree with me. I crave the attention, just like everyone else, and I don’t even really know why. I suppose we’re all human. We all want to be special, to be noticed and to stand out in our own way. My way to do it is by being a condescending jerk who honestly doesn’t have the energy to confront every single person who annoys me. Instead I take the cowardly yet arrogant route by complaining about all of you at once to the public (or tothe three people who read this- Hi Mom!). At least I know what I’m doing is rude and annoying… hmm maybe that makes it worse.

Well, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I might be shoving this link in your face by posting it to your news feed- but I certainly didn’t make you click on it and read the whole thing.

You know what I meme?

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